‘Present- being in the moment, at peace and not thinking beyond the present moment.’
What is it?
To be truly present when you are with your child/ren.
To ensure that you see, hear and feel where they are at, and what they require from you in any given moment.
To respond to their non-verbal and verbal language and other cues and take the right action to support their whole development.
Simply put, being present in the now.
Developing this ‘skill’ can take time, and it is normal to feel overwhelmed when first exploring what connecting consciously entails. I recall how overwhelmed I felt as a parent while juggling business, work, family, the home, organisation, meeting my children's day-to-day needs, and so on! I knew there had to be a better way to get all the above done while still understanding each child and ensuring they are seen, heard and felt daily.
In addition, I witnessed many children in the early childhood setting simply not responding to their parent’s efforts to guide them, and this appears to be an ongoing challenge at the current time, with many conversations taking place between educators and parents.
Strategies to develop a conscious connection with your child
Take the time out to observe your own feelings toward your child/ren. This is as simple as having a pen and paper handy, and documenting the moments you feel inspired to be with your children, and a second column to document the moments you feel frustrated, cranky, up set or dis-inspired by your child/ren. This process has proved very powerful for me in my own life, and I first started using it 5 years ago. Once you have established what you are most inspired by, set about creating more of those moments for and with your child. Note: I will address the 2nd column in a separate post!!!! This piece is a little more complex and requires some guidance.
Setting aside 1:1 time every day for each child. I love to use a timer to begin with, as this keeps us accountable. For example, you could start with as little as 5 minutes. Five minutes where your priority is simply the child you are engaged with. This maybe discussing what most interest them, engaging in a game they love, or reading their favourite book. This time must be completely distraction free, no phone browsing, or conversing with another adult in the house.
Even a super busy parent can find five minutes to spare to connect each day. Over time, this ‘time’ will no doubt get longer and easier, and more inspirational. As we realise just how wise our young ones are, it becomes easier to converse, listen to, play and guide (with) our children.
The benefits I have noticed with my own children, and with the children attending my childcare centres are; reduced mood swings, ability to externalise safely - which is going to lead to healthy mental health, increased clear communication, increased self-esteem, asking for help using appropriate communication, ability to engage in solo play more frequently and with joy, increased empathy and love within the child : parent relationship.
