Developing this ‘skill’ can take time, and it is normal to feel overwhelmed when first exploring what connecting consciously entails. I recall, how overwhelmed I felt as a parent while juggling, business, work, family, the home, organisation, meeting the day-to-day needs of my children, and the list goes on! I knew there had to be a better way, to get all the above done while still understanding each child, ensuring they are seen, heard and felt daily.
In addition, I witnessed many children in the early childhood setting simply not responding to their parent’s efforts to guide them, and this appears to be an on going challenge in the current time, with many conversations taking place between educators and parents.
What Strategies could you put in place to develop a conscious connection with your child?
Take the time out to observe your own feelings toward your child/ren. This is as simple as having a pen and paper handy, and documenting the moments you feel inspired to be with your children, and a second column to document the moments you feel frustrated, cranky, up set or dis-inspired by your child/ren. This process has proved very powerful for me in my own life, and I first started using it 5 years ago. Once you have established what you are most inspired by, set about creating more of those moments for and with your child. Note: I will address the 2nd column in a separate post!!!! This piece is a little more complex and requires some guidance.
Setting aside 1:1 time every day for each child. I love to use a timer to begin with, as this keeps us accountable. For example, you could start with as little as 5 minutes. Five minutes where your priority is simply the child you are engaged with. This maybe discussing what most interest them, engaging in a game they love, or reading their favourite book. This time must be completely distraction free, no phone browsing, or conversing with another adult in the house.
Even a super busy parent can find five minutes to spare to connect each day. Over time, this ‘time’ will no doubt get longer and easier, and more inspirational. As we realise just how wise our young ones are, it becomes easier to converse, listen to, play and guide (with) our children.
The noticeable benefits I have noticed with my own children, and with the children attending my childcare centres are; reduced mood swings, ability to externalise safely - which is going to lead to healthy mental health, increased clear communication, increased self-esteem, asking for help using appropriate communication, ability to engage in solo play more frequently and with joy, increased empathy and love within the child : parent relationship.
We are gifted the opportunity to train educators under high level leadership. They are carefully monitored and overseen by your centre director, other qualified staff and their training assessor, this ensures quality of practice and embedded theory is maintained
Judgement can be experienced as a ‘pain’ within yourself - we may experience this physically or mentally. Interestingly, if we observe the concept of judgment and how it makes you feel then you would become aware of how detrimental it is on a personal level. It also impacts our ability to think and feel.It not only damages your self-esteem, but also damages the relationships we hold with others. Judgement can and will make us physically unwell if left unchecked, for example, the anxiety that judgment brings can lead to increased heart rate.
The two basic elements of a safe and secure connection can be found in predictable routines (rhythms of the day), and through the adult consistently showing up in a warm manner, while ensuring boundaries are maintained. In this blog, I will focus on predictable routines, what it is, and what strategies you could include in your day-to-day routine.
